This is my censored version ,
I wasn’t going to share,
I like to keep some stuff personal, protect my kids,
Believe it or not, I don’t like too much attention either, I value humility,
But as I confronted the biggest emotions and fears this past week, I realised
how empowering the process of moving and releasing emotions and trauma is,
And it feels out of alignment to hold that back,
I am not unfamiliar to ‘shock’ ‘trauma’, just one example was my daughters birth where she stopped breathing, was resuscitated, had seizures, and then was flown to Brisbane ICU and had her body temp reduced to 33°C to protect her brain.
These are just WORDS,
this is just a STORY,
Like it was at the time,
No TIME or SPACE for EMOTION,
Just instincts and SURVIVAL,and a story for another day.
Shock and trauma shifts us into SYMPATHETIC nervous system dominance, FIGHT or FLIGHT.
It shuts down all non essential systems, organs, functioning.
It’s only designed to be short term, just enough to SURVIVE, not THRIVE.
It shuts out physical, mental and emotional pain, feelings, because it is too PAINFUL to cope with – at the time.
Problem happen when this becomes LONG TERM. Sympathetic dominance, fight or flight every day. This pain never gets felt, processed, released,
we keep ‘BUSY’, are ‘ON EDGE’, anxious, distracted, ‘ON THE GO’ all the time, AVOIDING feeling.
Sometimes this can feel like NUMBNESS, or COPING, so it can be easy to ignore.
Until, it BLOCKS the FLOW of ENERGY to cells, organs, systems and illness occurs, excess weight, disease.
All feelings, emotions are healthy – as long as they keep moving in and out of the body.
time and space COLLAPSED around me, again,
there was no time or space for emotions – just survival.
I command – call an ambulance,
CONTROL – short simple words,
restore calm and confidence,
focus – one breathe at a time,
breathe, 1,2,3, out, 2,3,
I say just listen to my voice, in, 2,3 everything is going to be ok, out 2,3,
someone will be here shortly, in 2,3, this will all be over soon, out 2,3,
just focus on this breath, in 2,3,
Just this moment,
Just this BREATH.
Ambulance, A&E, resuss unit, me, all so smooth, calm, controlled, emotions shut down, Survival,
Even sharing these stories days later, and in the case of her birth, weeks, months and years later,
just a story, no emotion,
Too much pain,
PROTECTION, Survival – not health.
Until, one of three things happen,
a TRIGGER breaks you and shifts you from HEAD to HEART and you breakdown, or
you CHOOSE to find the time and space to embody all emotions,
The whole experience,
The pain, fear, sadness, confusion,
let it flow and dissipate, or
ignored emotional energy gets STORED in cells, tissues organs and eventually causes disease.
Two years after my daughters birth I CREATED the time and space with a psychologist, I FELT, and RELEASED the energy from years before,
now understanding emotions,
now understanding energy,
now understanding embodiment,
I BOOK the time and space with myself to face all of my feelings and emotions,
before I had the chance to do that,
I am TRIGGERED,
I burst into tears,
I cry, and cry, and cry,
RELEASING all of the emotional energy from days before,
not holding any of it in.
For anyone who knows me,
I talk, I write and the energy moves,
so I share, I cry, I write, I cry,
I HONOUR all of my feelings and emotions,and let the pass.
Everyone is DIFFERENT,
exercise, throwing rocks off a cliff, dancing,
it all MOVES the emotional energy around and out,
it shifts us from sympathetic fight or fight,
down-regulating all our full functioning,
to parasympathetic,to WHOLE HEALING.
And as we release this energy,
we FREE up more SPACE,
more space to hold higher vibrational ENERGY and LIGHT within us,
to know WHOLENESS, POLARITY,
the FULL spectum so we can SHINE pure light out into the world.
What wounds have you not tended to yet ? What emotions have you been holding in? What trauma have you not processed?
It honestly doesn’t have to be big or ‘traumatic’, if you are scared to feel it, to go there, you are holding it in your body and it is being stored, as fat, or in your cells and organs.
Find a safe time and space to connect, to embody all of you, and if you need to seek help to do so. Your full body, health and life depends on it!